Tenacious D
Dio
Dio has rocked for a long, long time
Now it's time for him to pass the torch
He has songs of wildebeests and angels
He has soared on the wings of a demon
It's time to pass the torch
You're too old to rock - no more rockin' with you
We're taking you to a home
But we will sing a song about you
And we will make sure that you're very well taken care of
You'll tell us secrets that you've learned... WHOA!
Your sauce will mix with ours
And we'll make a good few lives better
Dio...time to go
You must give up your cape and scepter to me...
And a smaller one for K.G.
Dio...
Dio...
Double Team/Sex Supreme
Damn
A hard days rockin'
Better slip off m'shoes
Maybe give a little stretch, and a bend
Dip my toe to jacuzzi baby
Slip out this book, "The Buttres of Winsor"
"Ho ho ho who's this? How's it goin'?"
That's the first thing I say to you
"How's it goin', are you flowin'?"
Listen honey
Thinkin' 'bout a couple things to say to you
Showin', growin'
Man I'd like to place my hand upon your fuckin' sexy ass and squeeze
And squeeze
Take off your blouse
And your underpants
Then take a look
Cuz here me and K.G. come naked out of the side-hatch
With the oils and perfume and incense
Now you're groovin'
Put on a cool 70's groove
A funky groove to fuck to
A funky groove to fuck to
Me, D, and K.G.
It's all about sex supreme
We likes to cream jeans
Have you ever been worked on
By two guys who are hot for your snatch?
That's what i'm offerin' you
You step into our room
And then you smella perfume
You lay upon our roundish bed
And then you feel a tickling on your head
It's K.G. with a feather and the french tickler
Look it baby he got the tools
And then you feel somethin' down by your feet
It's me, it's J.B.
And I'm suckin' upon your toes
We don't mind suckin' on toes
Good luck finding a boyfriend who sucks toes oh
Havin' sex with me and K.G.
Now you're talkin' double team
Supreme!
Let's roll
Oh...
What? Yeah! Huh? No! Oh...
Oh that's it
That's right
Oh my God
Oh I think I'm gonna, oh
Splooge!
How's the wine?
Hail Satan
Hail Satan
Hail Satan
Hail Satan
Friendship
Friendship is rare
Do you know what I'm saying to you?
Friendship is rare
My derriere
When you find out much later
That they don't really care
It's rare... to me
Can't you see
It's rare... to me
Can't you see?
Oh shit, there's a bear
Could you hand me that shotgun, buddy
Also that chair?
We're fighting a pair
Now your life's in great danger
And you don't really care
It's rare... to me
Can't you see?
It's rare... to me
Can't you see?
It's rare... to me
Say a prayer... for me
Cuz it's rare to be... Tenacious D
Friends will be friends - they're running naked in the sand
Friends holding hands - they're someday shooting for the band
Friends will be friends - they say that friends are friends to the bitter end
As long as there's a record deal we'll always be friends
As long as there's a record deal we'll always be friends
Friends will be friends - they're running naked in the sand
Friends holding hands - they're someday shooting for the band
Friends will be friends - they say that friends are friends to the bitter end
As long as there's a record deal we'll always be friends
As long as there's a record deal we'll always be... friends..... yeah.
Fuck Her Softly
This is a song for the ladies
But fellas listen closely.
You don’t always have to fuck her hard
In fact sometimes that’s not right.. to do
Sometimes you gotta make some love
And fuckin' give her some smooches too.
Sometimes you've got to squeeze,
Sometimes you've got to say please
Sometime you got to say hey,
I’m gonna fuck you softly,
I’m gonna screw you gently,
I’m gonna hump you sweetly,
I’m gonna ball you discreetly.
Then you say hey I brought you flowers
Then you say wait a minute Sally
I think I got something in my teeth
Could you get it out for me?
That’s fuckin' TEAMWORK!
What’s your favorite posish? (As in position)
That’s cool with me
It’s not my favorite but I’ll do it for you.
What your favorite dish?
I’m not gonna cook it but
I’ll order it from Zanzibar.
And then I’m gonna love you completely,
And then I'll fuckin fuck you discreetly.
And then I'll fuckin bone you completely
But then I’m gonna fuck you hard. (stretch)
Hard. (stretch more-so)
Karate
With karate I'll kick your ass
From here to Tianenmen Square
Oh yeah, motherfucker, I'm gonna kick your fuckin' derriere, yeah
You broke the rules, now I'll pull out all your pubic hair...
You motherfucker...
You motherfucker...
Kyle betrayed me and then he lied, trying to hide
And I died deep inside, and you know the reason why...
I'm gonna kick your ass
From here to right over there
Oh, yeah, motherfucker, I'm gonna kick your fuckin' derriere, yeah, yeah
You broke the rules, now I'll pull out all your pubic hair...
You motherfucker...
You motherfucker...
Kielbasa
I love you baby,
But all I can think about is
Kielbasa sausage
Your butt cheeks is warm
I check my dipstick
You need lubrication, honey
My kielbasa sausage
Has just got to perform
Now get it on
I see you walking
But all I can think about is
Dianetics
Your buttcheeks is warm
I check my dipstick
You need lubrication, honey!
My kielbasa sausage
Has just got to perform
Now I've been set loose
I'm shooting my juice
Right in your caboose
Now fuckin' get it on!
Now get it on!
Get it on!
Dianetics junior much better than Krishna
Dianetics junior much better, indeed
And all you people here, you're tremendous
And so are the people in the back
And then you're smoking up a big-ass bowl of weed
Me and K.G.... all right...oh, yeah... all right....oh my god!
Now all the ladies in the place, say "yeah"
And all you motherfuckers say a prayer
When you fight, you gotta fight fair
You motherfucker, uh, you motherfucker
You know what time it is?
Tenacious D time! You muthafuckin' blow!
Fuck, yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Kyle Quit the band
Last week
Kyle quit the band
Now we're back together
Misunderstanding
Didn't understand
It doesn't matter
Now we're back together again
La la la la la
Couldn't split up Kato and Nash (Thats true)
Couldn't split up Tango and Cash
That's also true
This is our song of exalting joy because
We only came to kick some ass
Rock the fuckin house
And kick some ass
What we gonna do with all the cash?
Smoke hash
And then we we thrash
We'll throw a big ol' bash y'all
And everyone is invited to the bash
And everyone, you are invited to the bash
C'mon Kyle, one time C'MON
Lee
Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee
Lee Lee Lee Lee Lee
Lee Lee Lee Lee
We're talking fucking Lee
I had a friend named Lee
He cast a spell, a spell on me
If me and Lee and KG could decree
Flying free tenaciously
Skinny-dipping in a sea of Lee
I propose a bended knee
To Lee Lee Lee Lee
Lee Lee Lee Lee Lee
Lee Lee Lee Lee Lee
Lee Lee Lee Lee Lee
Lee Lee Lee Lee Lee
Lee Lee Lee Lee Lee
If me, and Lee, and KG (that's me)
could be free (could be free)
Better chi (better chi)
To my Lee (to my Lee)
To my Lee (Lee), to my Lee
To Lee Lee Lee Lee
Lee Lee Lee Lee
Lee Lee Lee Lee
Lee Lee Lee Lee
Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee
Rock Your Socks
One, two, three, four, five, SIX SIX SIX!
It doesn't matter if it is good,
It only matters if it rocks.
The main thing that we do is to rock your socks off.
There's no such thing as a rock prodigy,
Cause rock 'n roll is bogus, right KG? ('Right!')
Only thing that really matters is a classical sauce.
And that's why me and KG are classically trained
To rock your fuckin' socks off!
Give 'em a taste, KG.
('Okay.')
That is Bach, and it rocks.
It's a rock block of Bach,
That he learned in the school,
Called the School of Hard Knocks!
Give it up for KG, give it up for me,
Give it up for KG, give it up for me,
Give it up for rock,
Give it up for blues,
Give it up for everything that is not to lose.
Now, rock your socks off, woman,
We'll rock your shit up, y'all.
Give it up, children, now to freak your shit out!
All right!
Now I know what a lot of you are sayin',
'I just figured out what I'm gonna do with the rest of my days.
I'm gonna get me an oversized guitar,
Gain forty pounds, and be the next D.'
Well, I got sour news for you, jack. It ain't that easy.
For instance, are you willing to make the commitment to wakin' up
At the crack a' noon, for deep-knee rock squats?
Seven or eight at a time? In a row!
How 'bout, are you willing to make the commitment
To rock-hard tasty abs, washer-board style!
Glistening in the sun.
How 'bout, are you willin' to make the commitment,
Of wakin' up, goin',
'Okay, it's gig time, what t-shirt am I gonna wear?
Can't decide, can't decide. Brain aneurysm!'
We've been through so much bullshit just to be here tonight
To rock your fuckin' socks off.
And all we ask in return is some precious little...
All we're askin' you to do
Is drop trou
And squeeze out
A Cleveland Steamer on my chest. ('Ooh.')
Two, three, four!
Give it up for KG, give it up for me,
Give it up for KG, give it up for me,
Give it up for rock, give it up for blues,
Give it up for everything that is not to lose.
Now, rock your socks off, woman,
We'll rock your shit up, y'all.
Give it up, children, won't you freak your shit out!
All right!
Tribute
This is the greatest and best song in the world
Tribute
Long time ago me and my brother Kyle here
We was hitchhiking down a long a lonesome road
All of the sudden
There shined a shiny demon
In the middle of the road
And he said
Play the best song in the world or I'll eat your souls
Well me and Kyle we looked at each other
And we each said
OK
And we played the first thing that came to our heads
Just so happened to be
The best song in the world
It was the best song in the world
Look into my eyes and it's easy to see
1 and 1 make 2 2 and 1 make 3
It was destiny
Once every hundred thousand years or so
When the sun doth shine and the moon doth glow
And the grass doth grow
Needless to say
The beast was stunned
Whip-crack went his swampy tail
And the beast was done
He asked us
Be you angels
And we said nay
We are but men
Rock On!!
Oooooh Oooooh Oooooooh
This is not the greatest song in the world
This is just a tribute
Couldn't remember the greatest song in the world
Yeah no
This is a tribute
Ooo
To the greatest song in the world
All right
It was the greatest song in the world
All right
(Freestyle)
And the peculiar thing is this my friends
The song we sang on that fateful night
It didn't actually sound anything like this song
This is just a tribute
You gotta believe me
And i wish you were there
Just a matter of opinion
Good God
Gotta help me now
So surprised to find ya can't stop ya
O hallelujah I'm found
Rich mother fucker aaaaah
All right all right
Wonderboy
High above the mucky-muck
Castle made of cloud...
There sits Wonderboy
Sitting oh-so-proudly.
Not much to say
When you're high above the mucky-muck... Yeaaauh! Yeuh!
CHORUS:
WonderBooyeee!
What is the secret of your powers?!
WonderBoooyeeeee!
Won't you take me far away from the mucky-muck, man?
now it's time for me to tell you about Young Nastyman
arch-rival and nemesis of Wonderboy
With powers *comparable* to WONDERBOY!
What powers you ask?
Oh I dunno.. how about the power of flight,
that do anything for ya?
Its levitation holmes.
How about the power to kill a yak, from 200 yards away,
With Mind bullets
Thats telekenisis Kyle
...How about the power to move *you*?
History of Wonderboy and Young Nastyman...
Rigga Goo-goo, Rigga Goo-Googa
A secret to be told
A gold chest- to be bold!
And Blasting forth with three-part harmony!
Yeah!
CHORUS
Well Wonderboy and Young Nastyman joined forces
And they formed a band
The likes of which have never been seen!
And they call themselves TEnacious D
That's right-
ME!
and KG!
Were now
TenaAaaaaaaaAacious D!
Come fly with me!
Fly!
CHORUS
Oh, Take my hand, Young Nasty man, and we'll fly.
Bring out your broad sword. Theres the hydra.
Slice his throat and grab his scrote. You take the high road.
I'll take the low. There!!! The crevace!
Fill it with your mighty juice!